Scratch and Dent Sale

Nothing fits, from dawn on through long afternoon into still and sleepy dusk. I am out to visitors inside my own skin, since today I am an unwelcome guest myself.
Your face don’t fit, honey. You ain’t comin’ in. Back behind the velvet rope with you.
Frame cracked, smeared glass, imperfectly aligned and picture crooked. Up a bit, up a bit, down a bit, down, down. Yes. Just there. That’s it. No. No, you’ve lost it. Try again.
We could improve you with a snip, you know. Another snip, a tuck and a slice. We could tear you into jagged strips, rip you senseless, then wipe clean crucial moments of your memory, incinerate your spare bits in the burn pile, bleed your veins dry of DNA, before trampling and scrunching your leftovers into a hidden landfill under cover of night. Job done - a dirty one, but some unlucky sucker’s got to do it. We would be through by morning, ready to stick a red warning flag in any orifice you like, warning of the added poison synthetics that may cause irritation and inflammation.
My hair is three sizes too loose. My scalp requires belting up. My cerebral cortex needs to be taken out back into a dark, wet alley and given a damn good kicking. My ears aren’t my own; never were, and never will be. Someone threw the mismatched pair at my head and they caught. My nose smells worse than it looks, my looks look worse through my eyes, and my eyes keep rolling sideways at inopportune moments, coming to rest with one gazing heavenwards and the other praying desperately for a final resting place. My fingers crack their knuckles menacingly, serving as a warning that my hands won’t ever stop itching for a chance to smack some sense into my sagging face. My skin sweats, and a single drop of the sugar-salt moisture coaxes my tongue forth to taste. I am the living and dying, inhaling and exhaling image of a perfect imperfect human-being; a being-human made flesh and bone.
From tip to toe and back again, nothing fits, nothing works.
This product contains moving parts. Maintenance should only be carried out by an authorised dealer. Warning: warranty void if removed.